Maami Calling Maami

I was witness to this episode.
The context: R's Paati is 96 yrs old and was admitted in the hospital. Maami's discussing the events

Maami 1 (on phone with Maami 2) - R aathulendu phone vanduda?

Did you receive a call from R's house?

Maami 2 - Illaye....ayyayo...enna aachu?

Oh no! What happened?

Me thinking: This is absurd. There's no reason for this 'aiyyayo' reaction! Its like wailing at the mention of 'telegram' in olden movies!

M 1 - Illa, avathu vaasalla ambulance vandadu...adanaala ketten

I saw an ambulance in front of their gate..that's why I asked

M 2 - Appadiya ... enakku onnum news varallaye...

Oh really! I didn't get any news

M 2 calling M 3 - R aathu paati poyitta polerukku... ambulance vandadaam... M1 sonna

R's grandmom passed away it seems... M1 told me

M 3 - Ooohhh... paavam... nallavela romba paduthukkama poyittale...

Ooohh...poor thing... good she passed away without suffering too much

M 2 - Avaa onnum sollale... news vanda poyi paathuttu vandu kulikkalamennu wait pannaren...

They haven't conveyed the news yet... I thought I'll offer my condolences and then have bath (it is a custom to have a bath after offering condolences).

So after waiting near the phone for a while and passing this news to couple of more random maamis and discussing bath plans in detail (if they are yet to have their bath, they might as well wait till they offer condolences), M 2 along with other Ms decide to go ahead with their bath. They will go tomorrow to offer condolences.

Later in the evening we see R's paati sitting on their verandah chatting with her concerned neighbours and assuring them that she is hale and healthy!

The Ms would have thought - 'Thank god we didn't delay our bath!'

Rants of the Middle Class Madras Maami

It is an age old tradition of (some) Chennai Maamis (and some Mamas as well) to go around the neighborhood and sneakily and shamelessly gather flowers from others' gardens for their Gods. Chandran's parents (of R K Narayan's Bachelor of Arts fame) were once victims to this and to this day these Maamis continue to harass innocent, friendly neighbors. Here are some 'Flower Thief Maamis' archetypes:

1. Smooth Saroja: She walks in for a friendly chat, 'Ungathula enna samayal...' and drifts into, '...Enge Brahmanan la Cho sonnar paathela...' and all the while she walks around and gathers flowers that she neatly tucks into her saree pallu... once this is done, she leaves with, '... neenga busy-ya irukkael, naan apparam varen..' and sometimes manages to borrow some coffee powder or sugar along the way.

2. Mystery Meenakshi: She wakes up before the world and does a round of the neighborhood gathering all the flowers she wants. No one has ever spotted her till date. No matter how early you set your alarm, she always beats you! We don't know how!

3. Sneaky Sundari: She has chalked out her plan across different neighborhoods for each day of the week. She typically sneaks behind the compound wall and quietly picks all the flowers that happen to hang outside the wall while the household is busy with the morning routine. If someone happens to pass by, she quickly bends down to examine the grass and weeds on the pavement with a zest unknown even to a Botanist. She doesn't meet your eye.

There are many more I am sure.

One such Sneaky Sundari was caught red handed recently when my MIL happened to be watering the plants. It was embarrassing since it was a neighbor - she must have felt guilty since she said (and had the temerity to say), 'I'm only taking what is outside the compound wall'. My MIL being the nice lady that she is said, 'It all goes to God, please take, its ok..' but I was totally annoyed! My MIL toils in the garden every day for 2 hours - anyone who has spent even 30 mins digging in the garden would understand how physically demanding it is. At 65+ she still works hard in the garden (touch wood) and she is so passionate about it. I just can't bear to see the fruits ..err flowers of her labour being stolen this way. I am seriously considering Chandran's idea of building a moat around the house and putting few crocodiles in it!

Btw, last night I saw Sneaky Sundari's car parked outside the compound wall,  and I was so tempted!